Jesus is in the boat...

“Sing with me...
How Great is Our God!!”
I can’t help but to hear that and say..ok ...I don’t always FEEL this truth, but nevertheless it’s truth.  It’s not something I rouse myself to believe as a sort of moment ‘ah-ha’ but a deep, deep satisfying longing ...MET...in singing...How Great is Our God!

We just got back from a vacation..in the truest sense.  A break from everything!  We have been taking missions’ trips for the last 4 years and haven’t really taken vacations apart from going to visit family.  I must say it left me comparing.  I will spare you the details of that comparison (and yes I took notes on that!).  I will say it was good on many levels to just see how we naturally fall (as a family) into ‘vacating’ in many different ways.  Introvert to extrovert, happy to solemn, and even longing to satisfied.  I don’t know what it was for me but it must have begun at the point of thinking the vacation we had ‘sacrificed’ for many years was finally here...can you say EXPECTATIONS??? YES....I began disappointed.  I realized how quickly I let even my vacation be my ‘Savior’.  That’s why I love our mission trip “vacations”.  I’m reminded regularly of my waywardness.  Instead on vacation I forgot how to be me and let everyone else be ‘them’.  I wanted so much more...a family US that wiped out all of the MEs.  The good and bad in that is that God has been so faithful to show us that our family is a  bunch of me that make an US!! I love that God brought me to that even on vacation...but it wasn’t without struggle...in the midst of being OVERfed, OVER served, OVERstimulated...and OVER me.  It was good to draw back into Jesus because I was OVER that indulgence.  What He reminded me was so simple and pure...it wasn’t the OVER...it was the forgetting of who I am and the trying to fit into a vacation and forgetting who I was.  So there I was, sitting in the middle of  the Atlantic Ocean, Ipod blasting after 24 hours of ‘sermons’ and truths and music I wept...mouthing worship (maybe even singing)...forgetting all that was around me.  I am able to be here and not be afraid to let go.  I don’t know why enjoyment comes so hard for me, but I think it’s something along the lines of God’s mercy.  I really can only experience JOY after I’m sitting fully .. OVER-full of Jesus.  It’s an answered prayer that I fight.  To be only satisfied in Jesus.  No wonder the food, the music, the activity all of sudden was beautiful...I forgot the presence of Jesus is necessary for me on vacation. I was quickly thinking I would vacation even from Jesus. I knew he’d be there, but following.  I forgot I was made for following...submitting even...to how great is our God.  I don’t know why I’m so analytical even about vacation, but for now, I’m treasuring it’s how my God made me...and reminds me I can’t even enJOY without his leading!

Note: Cruises are not for the insecure introvert...of which the leader is me.  I like people, but on vacation, I like to vacate...not ‘party on center stage on the Lido deck’.... or even watch them...unless it’s my family then I say...OK>..for them I’ll stop and enJOY;) Thx Jesus for being in the boat with me;) ...and calming the storms of my heart and bringing out the SON!