So she honored my desire to be quiet, and although chose to read Harry Potter instead of opening God’s Word, there was still JOY in her that I was working on obtaining.
So I pressed in, read all my devotionals I’d lined up for the Advent season and waited. Waited for that sense that all would be well. I wanted to wait until I got through my prayers of “needs” and decisions looming. I wanted to wait until my list got checked and I could see how the day would unfold. I wanted to wait until God pushed through and gave me a clearer picture of why my Advent season had ‘wrestling’ in it. I wanted to wait for an emotion that stirred me beyond my stuffy head and tired body. Interestingly, I realized I didn’t have to wait. Christmas Eve is here, another year, and now it’s time to CELEBRATE what I’ve been ‘waiting’ on.
I’m learning how much I’d like to withdraw to the fields like the Shepherds and wait for the star to lead me to Jesus each Christmas. I’d like to not stop at the malls, be frantic over what gifts to get or feel the pull of our ‘excess’ while others lack. But it’s always there. Today, I’m glad it’s there. It’s hard for me to wrestle because something must be out of sorts. The out of sorts is good though, because it gives me pause. My ‘high places’ aren’t working for me then. That’s when I know my God DOES live and came for me. These few days surrounding Christmas make all the wrestle worthwhile. I see my need even more for my Savior to be born, live, die and be resurrected. Advent is characterized by ‘waiting’. Thank you Jesus for teaching me in the waiting that YOU are worth waiting for. Not just for celebrating Christmas, but for eternity!
Happy Christmas Eve!!! Jesus loves you!
