I’m at a loss. Not for ‘content’ to write about but for what’s important to share. So much happens everyday in my life, in my friend’s lives and in the bigger kingdom. I began blogging to remind myself of the blessings and of JESUS in the midst. The JOY producers. Somehow things have shifted. Not that there aren’t joy producers...there are probably more. But somehow JOY has a twist I’m learning. There’s often a taste of pain in the midst. JOY seems to be connected to enduring, but with HOPE. I think I’ve left hope out somehow in my prayers and processing. I mean I know my HOPE. He is real. His name is JESUS. What I’ve left out is how JOY comes thru looking at my HOPE in the midst of struggle, pain and redeeming moments. There are many times of happy with a family of 7. We’re having fun. But happy doesn’t last.
So, back to JOY. I want to write only to point to the joy in the midst of my journey. Anything else I write about right now points to me, not to the Lord. So, I’m trying to figure out what that looks like. There are some deep things going on ...but these deep things are with my family. Real people. Real life. No exceptions. The things that reel in my mind and I want to get out on paper are of aches, hurts and sometimes just sin. Blogging isn’t the world to share these. So, pray for me as I figure out how to adjust to the ramblings here. The joys are there...but they’re there through some hard things. I don’t like how it feels to have my kids show up somewhere and ‘known’ but the JOY mom is finding in Jesus through their hard battle. I dunno...just part of the reason for silence. I’m trying to hear ...it’s loud over here...but I know there’s a voice that wants to be heard in a new way.
There are some things that I love sharing with y’all, unfortunately I think that can reflect a picture that’s inaccurate. I’ll share those that I can, but know there’s struggle that I can’t be public about. Those ‘struggles’ right now are where I’m learning joy. They just are my family’s stories, not just mine. We all have them.
So I’m shifting somehow...don’t know if it’s just internally, but suffice to say I’m aware that I don’t want to paint a bed of roses around here, but am learning to have joy in the journey...more and more!!
So, back to JOY. I want to write only to point to the joy in the midst of my journey. Anything else I write about right now points to me, not to the Lord. So, I’m trying to figure out what that looks like. There are some deep things going on ...but these deep things are with my family. Real people. Real life. No exceptions. The things that reel in my mind and I want to get out on paper are of aches, hurts and sometimes just sin. Blogging isn’t the world to share these. So, pray for me as I figure out how to adjust to the ramblings here. The joys are there...but they’re there through some hard things. I don’t like how it feels to have my kids show up somewhere and ‘known’ but the JOY mom is finding in Jesus through their hard battle. I dunno...just part of the reason for silence. I’m trying to hear ...it’s loud over here...but I know there’s a voice that wants to be heard in a new way.
There are some things that I love sharing with y’all, unfortunately I think that can reflect a picture that’s inaccurate. I’ll share those that I can, but know there’s struggle that I can’t be public about. Those ‘struggles’ right now are where I’m learning joy. They just are my family’s stories, not just mine. We all have them.
So I’m shifting somehow...don’t know if it’s just internally, but suffice to say I’m aware that I don’t want to paint a bed of roses around here, but am learning to have joy in the journey...more and more!!
