So I’m really ...REALLY!!! BLESSED!! Not much peeping from this end about the ‘details’ of our transitioning because there are SOOO many AND I’m having little time to process with little peeps up and at ‘em in my quiet time or walk time!! I know it’s ‘ok’ and trying to give myself grace to ‘be’, but it’s not ‘me’. I LOVE my time in the word, processing and praying time. That’s minimal right now.
So, I’m asking the Lord to help me ‘be still and know that (HE) is God’. Funny...He’s helping me...but I’m resisting. BEING STILL goes against every grain of my flesh/body. I learned this on our adoption journey as a settling in my heart. I grew accustomed to it. But it came with times of surrender in quiet...not so much surrender in busyness. NOW...I’m reminded again that there’s a ‘be still and know’ in the middle of busyness. So, when I’m walking with my littles at 5:30am and I hear them singing “Alleluia” in their native language I think about heaven and the new earth. I realize there WILL be praises that are clear to all nations and languages. That praise is just understandable because it exudes from the heart and actions as much as words. So I listen and I’m still. This is worth remembering.
Our boys are a few days into their new life in a family in America ...THEIR family and are remembering how to praise God. Even after the battle of buckling into the stroller, they’ve come around. They’ve come back to what they’ve learned: PRAISE. Somehow it teaches me. I want to grumble about what is unfamiliar or scramble to find predictability. Instead, we’re called to offer a ‘sacrifice of Praise’.
So, I didn’t get my quiet times I would have liked, but I got more of GOD. Isn’t that what quiet time should lead us to? The throne room? So if you were in our ‘hood many early ams this week you heard 2 little boys singing at the top of their lungs great songs of praise with JOY! and then you heard their momma saying: Allelu, Jesus...YOU ARE GOD! You’ll show us...each and every step how to be a new family of 7 and transition into who YOU have designed us to be.
I hope to see this as a place to remind myself (and hopefully others) of the heart and hand of Jesus. If we can't see those, then truly life is lived with a dim view of what is real and what is to come. I hope you too will "process" what is going on in your heart and life. I know I need reminders of JOY in my full days. Hence the blog: JOY in the JOURNEY. It's there friends...may we have eyes to see it and hearts to grasp how good HE is!
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Day 2 following Day 1 poolside with other mom and her kids
OK...even my oldest said...who is that Mom that’s all of a sudden around us at the pool?? I must say, i think I need to repent of a tone of PRIDE in my previous post. really...I COULD have taken it (and did in my heart!!) many ways (thx Jennifer!) but the Lord led otherwise. THANK YOU JESUS b/c I had no idea we’d spend our next blip of pool time with them again!! I thought about recap’g the vignette of that day b/c it was even more exciting than the first. Then I realized: our God doesn’t need us to recap anything more than HE IS GOOD and GOD!! And that held true. I could not begin to imagine her little girl’s questioning of my baby girl would be the start of God’s unfolding. I’m not sure why I get this privilege into other people’s lives, but I’M AMAZED and thankful!
MIND YOU: I have 2 non-swimmer boys and 3 kids that want to play (ok...eldest doesn’t need me but still an occasional shout out) and I’m in the midst of this woman sharing her heart and asking questions that I had NO IDEA I’d be answering with strangers about our journey.
So there you have it. This is why I don’t buy walking in Christ as BORING!! He never stops...she even said with her perfectly fitting bikini (to me in my mommy swimsuit): I don’t get in the water but you encouraged me to play with my kids and talk! hmmm...I had no choice but to get in and I!! was the jealous one at some point? No thx;) Treasuring it up....
Keep doing your thing Jesus...and giving me eyes to see it and a heart that’s blessed!
MIND YOU: I have 2 non-swimmer boys and 3 kids that want to play (ok...eldest doesn’t need me but still an occasional shout out) and I’m in the midst of this woman sharing her heart and asking questions that I had NO IDEA I’d be answering with strangers about our journey.
So there you have it. This is why I don’t buy walking in Christ as BORING!! He never stops...she even said with her perfectly fitting bikini (to me in my mommy swimsuit): I don’t get in the water but you encouraged me to play with my kids and talk! hmmm...I had no choice but to get in and I!! was the jealous one at some point? No thx;) Treasuring it up....
Keep doing your thing Jesus...and giving me eyes to see it and a heart that’s blessed!
Monday, July 4, 2011
A first of many...
So Aliza had her first 'standing up for my brothers' interaction today at the pool. I was right there. I didn't see it coming. I've been so 'dazed' in some ways and relaxed in others. Taking it all in. So, I perked up when I heard it starting. Here's the scene. We're at the pool late afternoon and most folks have left. A girl younger than Aliza says: Who are these boys?
Aliza:they're my brothers (with excitement!).
Girl: Why are they black?
Aliza doesn't say anything.
The girl: Where's their mommy?
I begin to step over and then realize Aliza is totally holding her own.
Aliza: Does it matter? We adopted them.
Girl: Why?
Aliza: They needed a family.
Girl: oh.
I'm a little stunned and think...I'm going to address with aliza later and see how she's doing with it.
THEN, we're in the baby pool later and the same girl says:
Are these your brothers?
Aliza: I told you yes.
Girl: What are their names?
Aliza tells them.
Girl: Can I tell my mommy?
Aliza: What?
Girl: Can I tell my mommy that you adopted them?
Aliza: Sure.
Later back in the big pool, aloof mommy comes over. (she had asked her girl why she swam over to her vs getting out of the pool and walking quickly when she called her and made her repeat it correctly)
Mommy to me: Who are these boys?
Me: My sons
Mommy: my daughter told me.
(i think: then why did you ask?)
Mommy: When did you adopt them?
Me: We got home 4 days ago.
Mommy: mouth open
Me: I share some blahblah about us traveling to Africa then say: You see, when they wanted to play with your kids, they weren't afraid, they were excited.
Mommy: I had no idea.
Me: I know.
Mommy: Are all of these kids yours?
Me: ummm
Mommy: I couldn't do it. I have to have way too much control.
Me: Me too, but Jesus is teaching me.
Mommy: You like control?
Me: oh my, yes...but it's not nearly as good as trusting what God has. I'm sorry, we're done...need to go.
Mommy: Hope we'll see you around.
Me: Sure! (secretly thinking...GOD,could you be at work?) ALWAYS!!
Aliza:they're my brothers (with excitement!).
Girl: Why are they black?
Aliza doesn't say anything.
The girl: Where's their mommy?
I begin to step over and then realize Aliza is totally holding her own.
Aliza: Does it matter? We adopted them.
Girl: Why?
Aliza: They needed a family.
Girl: oh.
I'm a little stunned and think...I'm going to address with aliza later and see how she's doing with it.
THEN, we're in the baby pool later and the same girl says:
Are these your brothers?
Aliza: I told you yes.
Girl: What are their names?
Aliza tells them.
Girl: Can I tell my mommy?
Aliza: What?
Girl: Can I tell my mommy that you adopted them?
Aliza: Sure.
Later back in the big pool, aloof mommy comes over. (she had asked her girl why she swam over to her vs getting out of the pool and walking quickly when she called her and made her repeat it correctly)
Mommy to me: Who are these boys?
Me: My sons
Mommy: my daughter told me.
(i think: then why did you ask?)
Mommy: When did you adopt them?
Me: We got home 4 days ago.
Mommy: mouth open
Me: I share some blahblah about us traveling to Africa then say: You see, when they wanted to play with your kids, they weren't afraid, they were excited.
Mommy: I had no idea.
Me: I know.
Mommy: Are all of these kids yours?
Me: ummm
Mommy: I couldn't do it. I have to have way too much control.
Me: Me too, but Jesus is teaching me.
Mommy: You like control?
Me: oh my, yes...but it's not nearly as good as trusting what God has. I'm sorry, we're done...need to go.
Mommy: Hope we'll see you around.
Me: Sure! (secretly thinking...GOD,could you be at work?) ALWAYS!!
Transitioning...
I haven’t updated anything but a quick note or so on facebook since returning on Thursday afternoon...wow! Unlike me! BUT...so is our new world ‘unlike me’;) I wouldn’t trade it for all the updating possible!
IT WAS MORE THAN AWESOME TO BE BACK WITH OUR OTHER KIDDOS!!! For now, we're spending some time learning to be a family of 7. It's up and down and all around, but here are some things I’m processing:
*Our trip home was exhausting but so blessed in spite of the ‘circumstances’. The flight was delayed, full and our tvs were out. Now, the boys don’t like TV but they would have liked pushing the screen/buttons for entertainment. To top it off, once they finally went to sleep they made us sit them up and buckle them for our refuel in Rome. C’mon folks...if we’re going down, then some sleeping toddlers won’t know the difference! By this point it’s 4am and I’m thinking...do YOU want to come sit in my seat? do YOU want to busy them for the next 12 hour leg? do YOU !@#$...yes, my heart was grumbly! BUT...the boys rallied and were happy and i got in a few zzzzs while daddy took over (20 whole solid minutes!). We managed. Remember those late night conversations I said I thought would be better than sleep...well they didn’t fail to disappoint. A lady from Zambia and I had such a fabulous time sharing, listening and pointing each other to God’s hand in each other’s lives. Where did that come from? All in the midst of toddlers and new experiences and naps. I love how sufficient God is!!!
*Our family is soooo different!!! I can’t even put into words or even really begin processing yet. Keep praying. I’m sooo grateful for Andy being home and for the ‘no agenda’ life for now. It eats at me already at times, but I’m reminded of the short-term treat it is.
*The boys are picking up FAST!! I can not believe we haven’t even been home but 4 days!!! From initial revolting of American foods to much ‘mommy look, daddy look’ at their trying of new things...we REJOICE! I expected them to be so fearful for some reason of new experiences, but they eat them up!!! The pool, friends, fireworks, church...it’s all gone pretty well. We see the differences in them (i.e. When they’re quiet) but it doesn’t seem to send them. They jabber with each other and seem to be excited. Sometimes too excited to sleep now!! I love hearing them speak in their native language back and forth for 30+ minutes at nap and bedtime. It delights my soul that God gave them each other to process when we can’t help them do that. So, I pop my head in and say ‘Jesus loves you boys!!!’ and they say “Jesus loves you boys!”. Repetition...it’s how we learn;)
*Our other kiddos are communicating the ‘impact effects’ more. It’s good to discuss. Pray for us as we work through and point each other to why, how and WHO!!
*I miss Africa. Not knowing when we’ll be back is hard. I long for a piece of that simplicity and the contentedness of the people in my days. I wouldn’t trade America for it but God is near the folks there...and we saw it!
*My heart is aching often. I can’t reach for my camera fast enough for all the ‘firsts’. In their 3 and 4 years of life, they haven’t experienced as much as they have in these few days!
Some firsts: plane ride, family with older siblings, mom and dad, our home, CARSEATS (THEY HATE 'EM), Target, pool, church, friends, the dog (they hate the dog), sippy cups, ice cream, popsicles, tv, BEDS vs cribs, whispering, CHOICES, fun toys, stroller walks, squirrels, cats, fireworks, pool, lots of different food, ENGLISH vs Amharic...and the list grows...
I just constantly see the Lord’s hand in how they’re moving through their new life. How can that be? I know a day will come (and many moments have) that puts them under the table and frustrated. But for the most part, they’re rolling and it’s good. I’m most discouraged by not having the ‘conversations’ I remember having with the other kids at their age. I know they’d like it too. We can’t even read anything...just look at picture books. I know...be patient, it’ll come. I BELIEVE THAT. Still, in the moments, you see what we take for granted every single day. I want to match that gap with something ...like the boys’ getting on board. In reality, I really don’t want the gap to be filled. I want to continue in the expectancy, hope and JOY I see in our boys’ faces.
******
There’s more...always more. It’s when I expect to be surprised and delighted by Jesus that I’m most satisfied. Motherhood of these boys does me well...it reveals my hardened heart and points me to the JOY I long for...joy that won’t stop when it’s waiting on the Lord!
Thank you Jesus that you still surprise us..delight us...and delight IN US!! Teach me to long for more of YOU!!
That’s all for now...there are soo many things I could say but GRATEFUL FOR YOUR PRAYERS AND ENCOURAGEMENT!! God’s heart is near:)
IT WAS MORE THAN AWESOME TO BE BACK WITH OUR OTHER KIDDOS!!! For now, we're spending some time learning to be a family of 7. It's up and down and all around, but here are some things I’m processing:
*Our trip home was exhausting but so blessed in spite of the ‘circumstances’. The flight was delayed, full and our tvs were out. Now, the boys don’t like TV but they would have liked pushing the screen/buttons for entertainment. To top it off, once they finally went to sleep they made us sit them up and buckle them for our refuel in Rome. C’mon folks...if we’re going down, then some sleeping toddlers won’t know the difference! By this point it’s 4am and I’m thinking...do YOU want to come sit in my seat? do YOU want to busy them for the next 12 hour leg? do YOU !@#$...yes, my heart was grumbly! BUT...the boys rallied and were happy and i got in a few zzzzs while daddy took over (20 whole solid minutes!). We managed. Remember those late night conversations I said I thought would be better than sleep...well they didn’t fail to disappoint. A lady from Zambia and I had such a fabulous time sharing, listening and pointing each other to God’s hand in each other’s lives. Where did that come from? All in the midst of toddlers and new experiences and naps. I love how sufficient God is!!!
*Our family is soooo different!!! I can’t even put into words or even really begin processing yet. Keep praying. I’m sooo grateful for Andy being home and for the ‘no agenda’ life for now. It eats at me already at times, but I’m reminded of the short-term treat it is.
*The boys are picking up FAST!! I can not believe we haven’t even been home but 4 days!!! From initial revolting of American foods to much ‘mommy look, daddy look’ at their trying of new things...we REJOICE! I expected them to be so fearful for some reason of new experiences, but they eat them up!!! The pool, friends, fireworks, church...it’s all gone pretty well. We see the differences in them (i.e. When they’re quiet) but it doesn’t seem to send them. They jabber with each other and seem to be excited. Sometimes too excited to sleep now!! I love hearing them speak in their native language back and forth for 30+ minutes at nap and bedtime. It delights my soul that God gave them each other to process when we can’t help them do that. So, I pop my head in and say ‘Jesus loves you boys!!!’ and they say “Jesus loves you boys!”. Repetition...it’s how we learn;)
*Our other kiddos are communicating the ‘impact effects’ more. It’s good to discuss. Pray for us as we work through and point each other to why, how and WHO!!
*I miss Africa. Not knowing when we’ll be back is hard. I long for a piece of that simplicity and the contentedness of the people in my days. I wouldn’t trade America for it but God is near the folks there...and we saw it!
*My heart is aching often. I can’t reach for my camera fast enough for all the ‘firsts’. In their 3 and 4 years of life, they haven’t experienced as much as they have in these few days!
Some firsts: plane ride, family with older siblings, mom and dad, our home, CARSEATS (THEY HATE 'EM), Target, pool, church, friends, the dog (they hate the dog), sippy cups, ice cream, popsicles, tv, BEDS vs cribs, whispering, CHOICES, fun toys, stroller walks, squirrels, cats, fireworks, pool, lots of different food, ENGLISH vs Amharic...and the list grows...
I just constantly see the Lord’s hand in how they’re moving through their new life. How can that be? I know a day will come (and many moments have) that puts them under the table and frustrated. But for the most part, they’re rolling and it’s good. I’m most discouraged by not having the ‘conversations’ I remember having with the other kids at their age. I know they’d like it too. We can’t even read anything...just look at picture books. I know...be patient, it’ll come. I BELIEVE THAT. Still, in the moments, you see what we take for granted every single day. I want to match that gap with something ...like the boys’ getting on board. In reality, I really don’t want the gap to be filled. I want to continue in the expectancy, hope and JOY I see in our boys’ faces.
******
There’s more...always more. It’s when I expect to be surprised and delighted by Jesus that I’m most satisfied. Motherhood of these boys does me well...it reveals my hardened heart and points me to the JOY I long for...joy that won’t stop when it’s waiting on the Lord!
Thank you Jesus that you still surprise us..delight us...and delight IN US!! Teach me to long for more of YOU!!
That’s all for now...there are soo many things I could say but GRATEFUL FOR YOUR PRAYERS AND ENCOURAGEMENT!! God’s heart is near:)
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