So I pushed it. I wanted to know exactly what these nannies would be doing to prepare our boys to have our family walk in and see them (and probably burst into weeping). I kept asking. I got the usual, ‘they’re too young to get it’, ‘who knows’, etc. I wasn’t satisfied. I felt like WE!! needed to be prepared as much as they did to respond with the appropriate level of affection, response and invitation into their world.
So, I got it. I got my answer. I totally hear it. AND I DON’T LIKE IT! I’ve walked this adoption/orphan journey in some capacity in my heart for over a couple of years. What NEVER occurred to me is the depth of things I’m yet to uncover in the things I take so much for granted. Here’s why:
They told me that when we came in they would tell them (in their language, Amharic) that “THIS IS YOUR MOM AND DAD!” At first glance isn’t that WONDERFUL SWEET WORDS TO AN ALMOST 3 AND 4 YEAR OLD? Well, that delivery of those words needed explaining. The explanation cut through to my heart and is still hurting. To these kids, hearing this (not just because they’re young) has NO FRAME OF REFERENCE!!! They don’t know who/what a MOM or DAD is!! It brought the emphasis to a whole new level of why their first months home will be so important...they will be learning family. They’ll be learning MOM is not just their temporary Nannie. They’ll be learning who a male called a DAD is in their life. THEY DON’T GET IT! I needed to hear this. OF COURSE they’ll probably scream their heads off as they can’t put this “MOM OR DAD” into an existing paradigm.
This past week (and it continues) I’ve gotten to rock a little 1.5 year old to sleep this week who does have a mom. I realized she doesn’t have a clue who I am. She SCREAMED the first night. Now, she smiles. She learned...quickly. I’m not Mom, but she learned to trust (quickly) and it’s not so much she knows ‘who I am’ as much as ‘who she is’, which is LOVED!
The teachable moment (b/c God is using this to grow me as much as give our boys a family) is this: I don’t ‘understand’ the love of my Heavenly Father. I’m always learning it. Sometimes it takes me by surprise, sometimes it catches me on a downward spiral, sometimes it just takes my breath away. With God’s softening of our boy’s hearts, we’ll teach them we are mom and dad. Just like we taught our others...living it. We’ll get to help them unfold their story. Ironically, it will be in all our shortcomings (and theirs as well) that we’ll get to point them to the one, ABBA FATHER who’s love is unsearchable and without end! That’s the treat in being ‘YOUR MOM AND DAD’ to me;)
Psalm 145:3 Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised, and his greatness is unsearchable.
