Do you know how many times the word ‘delight’ is used in Scripture? I don’t either and I could find out, but suffice to say it’s one of those little but powerful words that takes my breath away. There are 2 ways ‘delight’ works in Scripture. One is OUR delight in the Lord and the other is the Lord’s delight in US!
Today’s my birthday. I have stolen a few minutes to try to capture this moment stirring in my heart. I don’t know why, but when my ‘delight’ in the Lord is waning, I do believe it’s because I’m not remembering HIS delight in ME. I don’t think that’s backwards. I know my God and He’s a God of the weak and faint of heart. He doesn’t need my delight...He wants it to overflow from seeing HIS DELIGHT FOR ME. Oh how often I can stumble over this. Check this off, check that study done...thru gritted teeth of my day: Lord I WANTED to delight in YOU but you’re not helping me here.
So began my last week of Andy home and lots of anxiety over transitioning to what the year ahead held. Not so much ‘fear’ of it being hard as much as where would I be in all these plans I was putting forth for my family. I was feeling smaller and smaller. I was grasping for something to hold onto for ME. I was justifying these things even as ‘God made me this way’ (i.e. needing ME). Hmmm...first error (of many) in the spiraling thoughts of how I would set up my days. Don’t get me wrong. We need order, plans and a vision here! (and God is a God of order)...but it can’t be what gives me life. Order, plans and ME can not be my delight.
There I had it. I was looking for ‘something’ to hang my hat on so to speak that I would delight in. I only began to have eyes to see this after a night of being wide awake and sensing the Lord asking me to REST (irony here?). Asking me to let HIM lead my days like he has before. And specifically to lay down my agenda for him. It was clear.
So here’s what I really wanted to reflect on tonight: As I just began to draw nearer and nearer to what I was reading in Scripture and pray, not plan, my delight began returning. I began to see the Lord again in a way that thrilled and surprised me (again). The kind of way when you’ve been a funk with your spouse and then madly in love again. It was like that. Deep down I knew I just needed to know I would 'get enough Jesus' and then all else would be alright. I was holding back from GOD but he wasn’t holding back from me. He wasn’t giving me the desires of my heart. Not because I wasn’t delighting in him, but I was missing HIS DELIGHT IN ME...that I wasn’t so small, that I wasn’t so forgotten, that I wouldn’t get left out,etc.
So beginning on Sunday, the Lord assured me that HIS DELIGHT WOULD BE ENOUGH. From there, I could receive..blessings from my family and friends for my birthday. I saw each of them as my Heavenly Father’s love for me. I saw how friends prayers were specifically answered. I saw the enemy tempt me to despair (in ways that were almost comical on Andy’s 1st day back after 7 weeks) on Monday. BUT...I also saw my God remind me that I was not alone. He would fight the battle...not the outward ones so much as the inward. The one that shouts so many lies with the whisper of YOU ARE PRECIOUS.
My normal birthday MO is to try to let go of expectations. It's wrong. You don't have to tell me that. It's just a little better that way;) But this year, I wanted the desires of my HEART and wanted to delight today...in my family and in what God had. We did that!! I was delighted that everyone was so busy and happy to celebrate (not always true). I got what I wanted in how we celebrated (and more!) but I also got the cry of my heart: to be delighted in and it points me back to why I love to DELIGHT IN JESUS. He just knows...
Here was some overflow in just today:
-an email that said : the boys’ lab results are NORMAL!!! I HAVE TO BLOG MORE ON THAT ANOTHER TIME!!!
-2 friends that received long awaited official referrals for their children!!!
-a child that went to bed with a 105 fever after throwing up all day Monday and I was prep’d w my rotation plan of meds or head to the ER, BUT HE SLEPT ALL NIGHT!! I didn’t sleep as I kept wondering and praying, but still! Said child’s fever just kept dropping until it was gone by the time we went to celebrate my bday today;)
-The earliest child riser was 8 am!!! What made this all the sweeter is Andy and got up early to ‘beat’ the early risers so we had time to coffee together and pray, but then I had quiet too;) RARE!
-My girls really served me today;)
-My son actually wrote a note in his bday card!
-My hubby came home 1/2 day and they had planned my requested Maymont afternoon and picnic;)
-Many ways friends pointed me to see why my BIRTHday mattered many years ago;)
Friends, HE DELIGHTS IN YOU (and me) despite what is tempting to crumble us! See His heart!
Truly...I am blessed...the desire of my heart;)
Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Andy loving cuddling Jacob before we found out his fever had blasted to 105!!! scary!
Brotherly love at its' finest!
Animals BEHIND the fences are fun...otherwise was running the other way!!! africa animals are to be feared;)
love that these boys can run and run and not just in circles at the orphanage!
family snapshots aren't as easy w 5!!!
He's watched photo jumps but this is Jacob's first!!! loved it!
Big sis leads the charge here...
Little man giggles...
big man fever free...
hangin around...
girl power!!!
jumpin the muk...
my bestie and love...
KA's view;)
our picnic...
sometimes the chocolate just has to be eaten first;)
ahhhh....
what a treat!!! i just thought we were going to Maymont and then the picnic party;)
andy's note to me was an inside 'funny'...
b/c we always celebrate by eating out...they did that with me on Sunday!! i thought we were done!
Today’s my birthday. I have stolen a few minutes to try to capture this moment stirring in my heart. I don’t know why, but when my ‘delight’ in the Lord is waning, I do believe it’s because I’m not remembering HIS delight in ME. I don’t think that’s backwards. I know my God and He’s a God of the weak and faint of heart. He doesn’t need my delight...He wants it to overflow from seeing HIS DELIGHT FOR ME. Oh how often I can stumble over this. Check this off, check that study done...thru gritted teeth of my day: Lord I WANTED to delight in YOU but you’re not helping me here.
So began my last week of Andy home and lots of anxiety over transitioning to what the year ahead held. Not so much ‘fear’ of it being hard as much as where would I be in all these plans I was putting forth for my family. I was feeling smaller and smaller. I was grasping for something to hold onto for ME. I was justifying these things even as ‘God made me this way’ (i.e. needing ME). Hmmm...first error (of many) in the spiraling thoughts of how I would set up my days. Don’t get me wrong. We need order, plans and a vision here! (and God is a God of order)...but it can’t be what gives me life. Order, plans and ME can not be my delight.
There I had it. I was looking for ‘something’ to hang my hat on so to speak that I would delight in. I only began to have eyes to see this after a night of being wide awake and sensing the Lord asking me to REST (irony here?). Asking me to let HIM lead my days like he has before. And specifically to lay down my agenda for him. It was clear.
So here’s what I really wanted to reflect on tonight: As I just began to draw nearer and nearer to what I was reading in Scripture and pray, not plan, my delight began returning. I began to see the Lord again in a way that thrilled and surprised me (again). The kind of way when you’ve been a funk with your spouse and then madly in love again. It was like that. Deep down I knew I just needed to know I would 'get enough Jesus' and then all else would be alright. I was holding back from GOD but he wasn’t holding back from me. He wasn’t giving me the desires of my heart. Not because I wasn’t delighting in him, but I was missing HIS DELIGHT IN ME...that I wasn’t so small, that I wasn’t so forgotten, that I wouldn’t get left out,etc.
So beginning on Sunday, the Lord assured me that HIS DELIGHT WOULD BE ENOUGH. From there, I could receive..blessings from my family and friends for my birthday. I saw each of them as my Heavenly Father’s love for me. I saw how friends prayers were specifically answered. I saw the enemy tempt me to despair (in ways that were almost comical on Andy’s 1st day back after 7 weeks) on Monday. BUT...I also saw my God remind me that I was not alone. He would fight the battle...not the outward ones so much as the inward. The one that shouts so many lies with the whisper of YOU ARE PRECIOUS.
My normal birthday MO is to try to let go of expectations. It's wrong. You don't have to tell me that. It's just a little better that way;) But this year, I wanted the desires of my HEART and wanted to delight today...in my family and in what God had. We did that!! I was delighted that everyone was so busy and happy to celebrate (not always true). I got what I wanted in how we celebrated (and more!) but I also got the cry of my heart: to be delighted in and it points me back to why I love to DELIGHT IN JESUS. He just knows...
Here was some overflow in just today:
-an email that said : the boys’ lab results are NORMAL!!! I HAVE TO BLOG MORE ON THAT ANOTHER TIME!!!
-2 friends that received long awaited official referrals for their children!!!
-a child that went to bed with a 105 fever after throwing up all day Monday and I was prep’d w my rotation plan of meds or head to the ER, BUT HE SLEPT ALL NIGHT!! I didn’t sleep as I kept wondering and praying, but still! Said child’s fever just kept dropping until it was gone by the time we went to celebrate my bday today;)
-The earliest child riser was 8 am!!! What made this all the sweeter is Andy and got up early to ‘beat’ the early risers so we had time to coffee together and pray, but then I had quiet too;) RARE!
-My girls really served me today;)
-My son actually wrote a note in his bday card!
-My hubby came home 1/2 day and they had planned my requested Maymont afternoon and picnic;)
-Many ways friends pointed me to see why my BIRTHday mattered many years ago;)
Friends, HE DELIGHTS IN YOU (and me) despite what is tempting to crumble us! See His heart!
Truly...I am blessed...the desire of my heart;)
Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Andy loving cuddling Jacob before we found out his fever had blasted to 105!!! scary!
4 comments:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY Cindy! We missed you tonight. I am so glad you were celebrated and saw His delight in you.
Happy Belated Birthday!! Sounds like you had a great one.:)
wow...what a beautiful post! and birthday! and LADY! you are DELIGHTful!
Awww...happy belated birthday, Cindy! Wish I had gotten on here a couple of days ago, but alas this post may not have been up then. Nonetheless, here's to a great year ahead! And to a wonderful birthday (at Maymont -- one of our favorite places!) to kick it off! So happy YOU were born years ago, so we could meet at this juncture in life. You're dear to me and so many. :)
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