The girls and I were flipping through some pictures the other day because they wanted a picture of ME.
Two things occur to me:
1) A rapid onslaught of feeling condemned for having to do this process online because I don’t have printed pictures, much less photo albums.
2) I never have a picture taken of just me unless it’s by surprise. I’m not as fun and don’t pose like my kids.
OH but this time we found ONE...with sunglasses on.

I’ve grown accustomed to laying down the “condemnation”. It doesn’t mean I don’t battle it or that having photo albums wouldn’t be nice, but it’s not working for me. It’s certainly not an area that I sense peace or the glory of the Lord in. The second piece though about the sunglasses kept playing over in my mind. I mentioned in my “interests” that I like to “think”. I just do. Often I go down and down a path and get twisted in my thoughts and they vanish. Other times I remember to invite the Lord in to them and He teaches me something. I did this with the pictures (mostly because of the condemnation ready to slam me).

This particular day I thought about how sunglasses block out light. I must have a phobia against light as I always have sunglasses in my pocket or on my head. There’s a piece of me that feels safe behind them too. I don’t think it’s intentional, but I do relax behind them. It’s also contrary to the way the Gospel works. Jesus makes it so that we can relax, because we have the SON in our eyes. I need to know this truth. I really walk around day to day in darkness needing the light, not in light that needs to be shaded. When I see this light at work in my heart and those around me, I’m drawn in. Why? Because it’s original, it’s contagious and it redeems. It takes the darkness I live in and turns it upside down. That’s nothing the world gives me. The world shows me how to run to or from the darkness (or supposedly). The Gospel draws me to WALK through my life with light and dare I say JOY?!

Jesus sees us completely blinded in the dark and groping around for our sunglasses (a.k.a. idols). He doesn’t blind us with the light, he sheds light to see the dark for what it is; a kingdom within which He moves, lives and has HIS being with us. The last thing we want when we’re in the dark is to be alone. With my SONglasses, not only do I have light, hope and perspective, but I also have all I need in Jesus. As often as I wear sunglasses, now I have an instant reminder that I’m not in the dark on my worst day/moment and I can relax and have joy as I journey.

John 12:46 I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness.