The usual...which is frankly a thrill ride! Filled with ups and downs that are so exciting one moment and so daunting the next. I almost think this parenting gig of TNT (teens ‘n toddlers) might set my body into bipolar mode if it wasn’t for the mercy of GOD!
I don’t write much...and frankly can’t. I feel like the ‘hard things’ are too revealing for my older kiddos. I’d like to! I’d like to tell you about each and every sin and the grace of God imparted (sometimes more than others) on the situation and our hearts. I’d like to share the ‘you’re not going to believe this’ conversation or happening, but they’re sacred. They are things for us...our family ...and our Lord to take up.
I’d like to know if there will be a day to share the ‘other’ things that make up our life. I long to just be simple in my thinking, but it’s not me. That leaves me with being able to easily tell about the things that bring delight, but not sharing the things that keep me up at night. Not because I’m being evasive or trying to paint a prettier picture than reality, but because they’re not airing each others yuk.
I’m thinking I’d like to LEARN to be able to talk about those things. Before, I felt led to write about things where I saw the ‘full circle’ and some revealing in our lives. The full circle is somehow happening more in the ‘struggles’ than in the ‘delights’. I love that I get glimpses of these moments. They bring me to my knees. It’s holy ground. I think this verse means more to me now:
Hebrews 6:19 We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, 20 where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf.
I often feel I”m behind the curtain, but thankfully, I’m behind the curtain where Jesus has gone before. I’m quickly reminded that HE has entered FOR me and for my family. It’s good!! It’s not alone although private;) It’s humbling and settling some days and fitful and nerve wracking others. Regardless, Jesus has gone before me.
Here’s a recent DELIGHT that has profoundly blessed my soul:
Jacob started a bit ago with a statement:
YOU MY MOMMY.
I thought: AWE...he get’s it and delights in it! I would eagerly turn to him, hug him and say:
YES, Jacob Yakob, I am your mommy and YOU ARE MY SON!
He’d usually smile really big, hug me tightly and then go about his business.
Then, it became more frequent:
Jacob: You my mommy.
ME: Yes, Jacob, I’m your mommy. I love you...
(thinking: “now go and play...we’ve got this settled” creeping in)
Jacob: smiles and hugs
I’d answer the ‘statement’ with Yes, I’m your mommy interchanged with You’re my SON.
One day to the usual :
Jacob: You my mommy
me: Yes sweetie, I am and I love you!
Jacob: you didn’t say : You’re my son (sad tone).
me: YES, Jacob, You are my SON!!
Jacob: silent
me: I will ALWAYS be your mommy and you will always be my son.
So, this conversation has gone on for awhile now...especially when we’re out and about ..in the grocery, Costco, Target especially. I wondered why the frequency when we were out? Then it hit me. HE IS PROUD AND WANTS THE WORLD TO KNOW:
YOU MY MOMMY. DADDY MY DADDY. I AM YOUR SON!!
Isn’t it true?
Don’t we need to ‘say it’ too?
Over and over God wants to show me :
I am your daddy, you are my child!
Shouldn’t I WANT to tell everyone?
Regardless, I need to say it again and again:
Me: God, you are my father
God: You are my child...and I love you!
Me: Oh yea...that’s right!
I can not hear my boys say it anymore without God nudging me. I hear HIM too.
Partly because Jeremiah echoes the same now :
Jeremiah: You ARE my mommy. I am your SON!
Me: YES INDEED...and forever we are GOD’s children:)
...and sometimes we just sing JESUS LOVES ME...
i’m moved and reminded of simple faith...not the wrap my head around ‘we need to be better’ kind...because Jesus is going to have to do that!
remembering our first hugs when they met their 'mommy and daddy' and we met our 'sons'....
priceless reminder of God's moment he called us HIS..forever!
I don’t write much...and frankly can’t. I feel like the ‘hard things’ are too revealing for my older kiddos. I’d like to! I’d like to tell you about each and every sin and the grace of God imparted (sometimes more than others) on the situation and our hearts. I’d like to share the ‘you’re not going to believe this’ conversation or happening, but they’re sacred. They are things for us...our family ...and our Lord to take up.
I’d like to know if there will be a day to share the ‘other’ things that make up our life. I long to just be simple in my thinking, but it’s not me. That leaves me with being able to easily tell about the things that bring delight, but not sharing the things that keep me up at night. Not because I’m being evasive or trying to paint a prettier picture than reality, but because they’re not airing each others yuk.
I’m thinking I’d like to LEARN to be able to talk about those things. Before, I felt led to write about things where I saw the ‘full circle’ and some revealing in our lives. The full circle is somehow happening more in the ‘struggles’ than in the ‘delights’. I love that I get glimpses of these moments. They bring me to my knees. It’s holy ground. I think this verse means more to me now:
Hebrews 6:19 We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain, 20 where Jesus, who went before us, has entered on our behalf.
I often feel I”m behind the curtain, but thankfully, I’m behind the curtain where Jesus has gone before. I’m quickly reminded that HE has entered FOR me and for my family. It’s good!! It’s not alone although private;) It’s humbling and settling some days and fitful and nerve wracking others. Regardless, Jesus has gone before me.
Here’s a recent DELIGHT that has profoundly blessed my soul:
Jacob started a bit ago with a statement:
YOU MY MOMMY.
I thought: AWE...he get’s it and delights in it! I would eagerly turn to him, hug him and say:
YES, Jacob Yakob, I am your mommy and YOU ARE MY SON!
He’d usually smile really big, hug me tightly and then go about his business.
Then, it became more frequent:
Jacob: You my mommy.
ME: Yes, Jacob, I’m your mommy. I love you...
(thinking: “now go and play...we’ve got this settled” creeping in)
Jacob: smiles and hugs
I’d answer the ‘statement’ with Yes, I’m your mommy interchanged with You’re my SON.
One day to the usual :
Jacob: You my mommy
me: Yes sweetie, I am and I love you!
Jacob: you didn’t say : You’re my son (sad tone).
me: YES, Jacob, You are my SON!!
Jacob: silent
me: I will ALWAYS be your mommy and you will always be my son.
So, this conversation has gone on for awhile now...especially when we’re out and about ..in the grocery, Costco, Target especially. I wondered why the frequency when we were out? Then it hit me. HE IS PROUD AND WANTS THE WORLD TO KNOW:
YOU MY MOMMY. DADDY MY DADDY. I AM YOUR SON!!
Isn’t it true?
Don’t we need to ‘say it’ too?
Over and over God wants to show me :
I am your daddy, you are my child!
Shouldn’t I WANT to tell everyone?
Regardless, I need to say it again and again:
Me: God, you are my father
God: You are my child...and I love you!
Me: Oh yea...that’s right!
I can not hear my boys say it anymore without God nudging me. I hear HIM too.
Partly because Jeremiah echoes the same now :
Jeremiah: You ARE my mommy. I am your SON!
Me: YES INDEED...and forever we are GOD’s children:)
...and sometimes we just sing JESUS LOVES ME...
i’m moved and reminded of simple faith...not the wrap my head around ‘we need to be better’ kind...because Jesus is going to have to do that!
remembering our first hugs when they met their 'mommy and daddy' and we met our 'sons'....
priceless reminder of God's moment he called us HIS..forever!
No comments:
Post a Comment