2.6.02 I have great joy in celebrating our precious ALIZA HOPE! You see, this girl was a 'maybe'. She was the pregnancy that I insisted on after a bitter miscarriage. You know, the "I need to be pregnant NOW. That miscarriage was too hard to swallow so getting pregnant must be the answer". But our Lord is sovereign over even these wayward moments. You see, between Kaylee Ann and Aliza, there was the first 'hint' at adoption. There was the first prodding that I ignored as a 'last resort'. I don't believe Aliza's conception was outside of God's hand, but it was fraught with surrender. Surrender that I needed in order to see His heart and hand.
I share a glimpse into my pregnancy with her and her joining us 10 years ago in hopes of reminding MYSELF of my dependency on God. I NEED to remember those painful moments that I could barely share at the time. Few people know those precious weeks/months laid me at the feet of Jesus. I speak lots about our adoption journey and the way we experienced God at the time. Aliza's 10th birthday is now a chance for me to recall the same way HE was at work then;) here goes...
It was the time for the BIG ultrasound. Our family of 4 squeezed into the little ultrasound room. Proud daddy already had the video tape rolling. The excited older 2 siblings were biting at the bit as this was a new experience to 'see' inside mommy's tummy. I was just ready to get a glimpse of this little one and see the older two's faces ;) Then we heard something we never expected.
"Sir, you'll need to turn off that camera. Um, you might want to let the children come with me and stay with the nurses, it's ok, they'll be fine."
There we were, suddenly left alone and no clue what was happening. We assumed the worst, but had heard the heart beating. The hug of my husbands arms was a unifying front of 'no, not again'.
I don't know the events of what happened, but we had the head Ultrasound Dr telling us we needed to see our OB NOW.
I heard words, but they meant nothing.
I heard that they could do an amnio (and wanted to) NOW.
I felt my heart stop.
I saw my husband silent and aching with me.
Through all the medical explanations I knew things were NOT OK.
Basically, Aliza had 4 cysts on her brain. They showed us. This was characteristic of a trisomy disorder (#?) that would mean she would take 1 breath or a few weeks of breaths worth, but no more. Her brain wouldn't be able to tell her body what to do. They needed an amnio to "know for sure" it was this trisomy problem, otherwise, we wouldn't know.
There was a small sentence thrown in there: SOMETIMES THESE HAVE BEEN KNOWN JUST TO DISAPPEAR ON THEIR OWN LATER IN THE PREGNANCY, BUT RARELY.
The amino itself is huge risk at 21-23ish weeks. I knew I couldn't risk another miscarriage by a choice we needed to make. We asked if we could wait. They gave us 24 hours. We went home, we cried, we prayed and WE KNEW: no amnio because there would be no consideration of what "knowing" offered (basically a medical abortion).
So, we continued to wait and pray. I think like never before, we experienced HOPE outside of the circumstances. The hope of Jesus...not in what he COULD or would do, but in HIMSELF.
Hence, Aliza HOPE was 'her name' even though we hadn't determined if this baby was a she;)
Flashforward towards the end of the pregnancy (@36 weeks) where we had a ultrasound. I had had 2 C-sections so we knew we would have to have her early. Oh I remember that moment. We stared at the screen. We know what those white 'cysts' looked like. For what ever reason they checked all over her tiny body before they checked her brain. Oh those details didn't seem to matter. It was SILENT!
THEN, we creep towards zoomed in pictures of her brain and we hear something like:
HOLD ON...
How many cysts were there (at this point we didn't know if more or less she was seeing)
We said: 4
Several techs/drs were there for some reason.
Then one said: SOMEONE'S PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED! THE CYSTS ARE GONE!!
YES! gulp, they were notta, zilch, not there, GONE!! Whoop and hollering ..MIA!!!
We rejoiced cautiously because I guess we just didn't believe they wouldn't come back, even though assured, when this does happen, it's for good with NO residual evidence of the cysts!
Inevitably, when the scheduled Csection time arrived, 10 years ago, we were ready for the final "proof" so to say. No preparations that she would have difficulty, just the unbelief in my heart.
Not surprisingly, the cries of our infant baby girl were the most delightful sounds to our ears.
From Andy and I: Weeping, heaving, 'and can it be?', praises...Aliza HOPE was born. I remember asking: is she ok REALLY?!!!!
DOC: YES (mind you all were crying at this point)
ME: REALLY?
THEM: YES!
ME: ARE YOU SURE?
THEM: Here...see for yourself
and they placed that precious 7.7 lb girl in our arms.
The rest is her HOPE-filled story that God ordains....CAN'T.TELL.YOU.WHAT.A.JOY.IT.IS.TO.WATCH.IT.UNFOLD!!!!
She is by far the spunkiest, joyful, wild, caring, fun-loving gal around;)
Aliza HOPE ...you are double digits and we are ARE SO PROUD! Love you girl!! He certainly has blessed US! God has great things for YOU!!!
We had some fun...
Dad was going to be gone ON her birthday so we celebrated all weekend long;)
some friends, some fun, some family, some gifts, some lovin';)
Kaylee Ann and surprised Aliza with a trip to CookOut then to Claire's for GETTING HER EAR'S PIERCED! She was only half excited as the prospect of pain was winning out...
but SHE DID IT!
cake pops from Gmomma:) a first!
the infamous cake 'top'
everyone got into the action:) (and sampling)
mom and aliza...isn't it great?
that's my girl!
homemade pizzas with friends...
gifts from her brothers..
I share a glimpse into my pregnancy with her and her joining us 10 years ago in hopes of reminding MYSELF of my dependency on God. I NEED to remember those painful moments that I could barely share at the time. Few people know those precious weeks/months laid me at the feet of Jesus. I speak lots about our adoption journey and the way we experienced God at the time. Aliza's 10th birthday is now a chance for me to recall the same way HE was at work then;) here goes...
It was the time for the BIG ultrasound. Our family of 4 squeezed into the little ultrasound room. Proud daddy already had the video tape rolling. The excited older 2 siblings were biting at the bit as this was a new experience to 'see' inside mommy's tummy. I was just ready to get a glimpse of this little one and see the older two's faces ;) Then we heard something we never expected.
"Sir, you'll need to turn off that camera. Um, you might want to let the children come with me and stay with the nurses, it's ok, they'll be fine."
There we were, suddenly left alone and no clue what was happening. We assumed the worst, but had heard the heart beating. The hug of my husbands arms was a unifying front of 'no, not again'.
I don't know the events of what happened, but we had the head Ultrasound Dr telling us we needed to see our OB NOW.
I heard words, but they meant nothing.
I heard that they could do an amnio (and wanted to) NOW.
I felt my heart stop.
I saw my husband silent and aching with me.
Through all the medical explanations I knew things were NOT OK.
Basically, Aliza had 4 cysts on her brain. They showed us. This was characteristic of a trisomy disorder (#?) that would mean she would take 1 breath or a few weeks of breaths worth, but no more. Her brain wouldn't be able to tell her body what to do. They needed an amnio to "know for sure" it was this trisomy problem, otherwise, we wouldn't know.
There was a small sentence thrown in there: SOMETIMES THESE HAVE BEEN KNOWN JUST TO DISAPPEAR ON THEIR OWN LATER IN THE PREGNANCY, BUT RARELY.
The amino itself is huge risk at 21-23ish weeks. I knew I couldn't risk another miscarriage by a choice we needed to make. We asked if we could wait. They gave us 24 hours. We went home, we cried, we prayed and WE KNEW: no amnio because there would be no consideration of what "knowing" offered (basically a medical abortion).
So, we continued to wait and pray. I think like never before, we experienced HOPE outside of the circumstances. The hope of Jesus...not in what he COULD or would do, but in HIMSELF.
Hence, Aliza HOPE was 'her name' even though we hadn't determined if this baby was a she;)
Flashforward towards the end of the pregnancy (@36 weeks) where we had a ultrasound. I had had 2 C-sections so we knew we would have to have her early. Oh I remember that moment. We stared at the screen. We know what those white 'cysts' looked like. For what ever reason they checked all over her tiny body before they checked her brain. Oh those details didn't seem to matter. It was SILENT!
THEN, we creep towards zoomed in pictures of her brain and we hear something like:
HOLD ON...
How many cysts were there (at this point we didn't know if more or less she was seeing)
We said: 4
Several techs/drs were there for some reason.
Then one said: SOMEONE'S PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED! THE CYSTS ARE GONE!!
YES! gulp, they were notta, zilch, not there, GONE!! Whoop and hollering ..MIA!!!
We rejoiced cautiously because I guess we just didn't believe they wouldn't come back, even though assured, when this does happen, it's for good with NO residual evidence of the cysts!
Inevitably, when the scheduled Csection time arrived, 10 years ago, we were ready for the final "proof" so to say. No preparations that she would have difficulty, just the unbelief in my heart.
Not surprisingly, the cries of our infant baby girl were the most delightful sounds to our ears.
From Andy and I: Weeping, heaving, 'and can it be?', praises...Aliza HOPE was born. I remember asking: is she ok REALLY?!!!!
DOC: YES (mind you all were crying at this point)
ME: REALLY?
THEM: YES!
ME: ARE YOU SURE?
THEM: Here...see for yourself
and they placed that precious 7.7 lb girl in our arms.
The rest is her HOPE-filled story that God ordains....CAN'T.TELL.YOU.WHAT.A.JOY.IT.IS.TO.WATCH.IT.UNFOLD!!!!
She is by far the spunkiest, joyful, wild, caring, fun-loving gal around;)
Aliza HOPE ...you are double digits and we are ARE SO PROUD! Love you girl!! He certainly has blessed US! God has great things for YOU!!!
We had some fun...
Dad was going to be gone ON her birthday so we celebrated all weekend long;)
some friends, some fun, some family, some gifts, some lovin';)
Kaylee Ann and surprised Aliza with a trip to CookOut then to Claire's for GETTING HER EAR'S PIERCED! She was only half excited as the prospect of pain was winning out...
double digits, double dimples, double earrings, doubly loved:) Happy 10th Aliza!
1 comment:
Thank you for sharing this part of your story. Glory to God for his blessings. I love the cake too!
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