giggles, laughter, screams, doors left open, wet floors, slam (snowball on the window), hollering for help, food, hot chocolate, dryer running, sledding, walks, fires, bundled up children, neighbors....the list goes on. There’s something new in town that beckons us all to ‘COME’. We’ve answered the beckoning call of the outdoors the last few days and STOPPED the usual. I didn’t experience anything unique to all the others on the East Coast, but I recognize the refreshing peace it’s brought across our family. We’ve even heard prayers that praise God for his creation in a new way...one that even makes little hearts (and big) hope for snow days in heaven. I didn’t want the cars to get out of the driveway. It was an unplanned “staycation” as I’ve heard about in the economic downturn. I would normally not trade worship at our church for being home...ever. BUT, as the Lord would have it, we didn’t shovel Saturday and couldn’t find one early enough to start digging Sunday. It was good. I realized again how worship shouldn’t be isolated to church on Sunday. I know all of creation calls for us to worship, I know the smiles and laughter in my home cry out for me to worship, I know the hugs from family and friends and the prayers prayed ask for my praise, I realize the ways I even hurt and cry out to God can be worship, BUT...do I know why my God says worship is good? I forget it’s not necessary for HIM, but for ME!!
We have so many challenges that I want to ‘fix’ before I worship. Of course I call out to Jesus...I need HIM! But then my affections are STILL on ME! In the end I’m really only worshiping....myself. I do it well. So much so I don’t even notice...it’s my 2nd nature. That’s where I miss Jesus. Jesus gives me a ‘new nature’ that isn’t so independent and strong. I thought today about how when you have this much snow, we do a lot of the Nestea plunge....face or hind-parts first. It’s an abandonment I forget. One of complete freedom. It’s one (among the many) thing that makes snow cry ‘COME’. And then it hit me, it’s sooo much better when
Jesus says COME! Surprisingly, it’s not the ‘COME’ of the world. This come is like the snow...it’s one of freedom, an abandonment of self falling into his trusting arms. This doesn’t require me to do anything but let go. Really, this is how worship can look each and every day. It’s really refreshing to just COME. What happens from there is where living in the Spirit flows. Instead of fixing and frenzy, I can live with freedom! Our Nestea plunges are nothing in comparison to the satisfying fall into the arms of the one who catches us, holds us and gives us the water of LIFE! I worship simply because I come, hear and drink. May our Lord be glorified as we simply let go and COME this Christmas and each new day he gives! Revelation 22:17 NIV The Spirit and the bride say, "Come!" And let him who hears say, "Come!" Whoever is thirsty, let him come; and whoever wishes, let him take the free gift of the water of life.
Luke 2:10-11: But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord."
You’ll hear me say a lot about REJOICING on this blog...because the Bible says tells me so...over and over. Surprisingly, I think I miss it way too often. “Good news of great joy for all people”...starting at Christmas but continuing for always.
Do not ask me why I have to pray every year to believe this simple truth and command. I do. Thanksgiving rounds the corner and the ‘world’ says I should be thinking about Christmas by ‘making my list and checking it twice’. I do think there can be a good thing in making my ‘list’ (and checking it twice). At Thanksgiving I’m usually consumed with this ‘jumpstart’ to the season. This year I was prompted to make a conscious choice to just be in the moment of the long weekend. It was a really good weekend...sweet. I would say I was glad, but then I entered “the season” discombobulated and feeling like holding off with the rejoicing. Why? I wanted to have my ‘lists checked’ before I rejoiced! Sad but true.
So I’m really glad this year I didn’t (and still don’t) have my lists checked. The truth is still true, and I can REJOICE! because of Jesus’ love and God’s gift. But, here’s how that even looks in my life sometimes. I’m still before the Lord more but find my motivation waning and overwhelmed. So, I lay this down before him and ask for the ‘drive’. My waiting yet asking would probably sound like this: “‘C’mon Jesus...you know I’m enjoying my time with you, you know I really sense your Spirit and am in dialogue with you throughout the day, would it be asking too much to HELP ME GET THESE THINGS DONE???!!”
Sounds pitiful as I write, but really here’s the pity....HE is not asking me to get all these things done. I feel the tension because HE is not moving me there. If I’m in Christ and the motivation is lacking, maybe, just maybe some things need to slide off ‘the list’.
So, even as I take the time to put this nugget He’s teaching me on paper, something else is sliding off my list. It’s OK. Why? It’s where HE has me. Reflecting on HIS faithfulness and work in my heart and seeing more of Jesus. That helps me REJOICE! The list really doesn’t ...for long. So friends, that’s my JOY in the journey today. I’m really glad for those of you who can do both. Today I don’t want to have to work through the list (or fill in whatever it is) to get to JOY, but I’ll even need the Lord to show me that. REJOICE...list or not...God is with us!!
I should have figured it wouldn’t be long before I was prompted to write about what life is like when you add an 18 year old to your home with out prior “experience”. If it’s important to you to know the “hows” of Whitney ending up in our home, then ask me sometime! We are praying BIG for reconciliation and renewal in her and with her parents. Whitney is a special gift we’ve received lately. I know there have been many “gifts” in parenting my own kids, but this one continues to uniquely bless me. Whitney if you’re reading this...WE LOVE YOU!
How do you set out to love someone in your home, in your life and part of your family who has not been there all along, and for the long haul? I really can’t answer that (yet?), but it didn’t take long for the Lord to show us more of our own sin. Really not in dealing with Whitney, but with our own children!
There really is nothing in me (or my family) that is experienced or can ‘muster’ loving Whitney the way she deserves to be loved. So, it has been a great time to learn to abide in Jesus or should I say frankly it catapults me onto the lap of the Lord. I find it almost comical that in this leaning, the Lord has not only guided us for the steps of the moment (b/c that’s really all we can grasp), but He has given us such delight in Whitney. I wonder if this is how Jesus felt about his disciples...I mean they couldn’t give him anything. Yet he treasured their company and brought them alongside what he was doing. Why? I’m sure it’s multi-fold, but I bet a piece of it was this sense that He was just walking along with his Father and it’s just what He had for him. His Father was enough. I mean he didn’t need them! Since Jesus was delighting in God, He could minister and love these broken sinners intimately!!
God does that with us...still. That’s good news. But how does that fit into my delighting in Whitney, often differently than with my own children? I really think it’s the simplicity of leaning on Jesus and delighting in him as we love her. This frees me to love her with much less ‘schizophrenic’ ways than my kids. OK...so maybe you got this down early on in your parenting. There are only 2 ways I have: 1) in theory or 2) total weakness and frustration the Lord has blessed me with. Maybe on some days we do run on experience and smoothness of well executed plans we put in place. But you know what...for the most part it really doesn’t bring me DELIGHT! Why? Because it’s only as good as the next ‘unexpected bump’. The delight is fleeting because my hope gets placed on ‘doing’ parenting (or my list) well. Really life with my own children is as ‘unknown and unique’ as it is with Whitney. We just think we know the days ahead or will mold them as we wish. This is one of the gifts the Lord has used Whitney to give me (again); the same gift of suffering and weakness: the gift of listening and believing the heart of Jesus. It’s not really as crazy as my own heart or as calculated as I’d like it to be. The heart of Jesus is lived out through me (and my family) in the Spirit. It’s REAL-TIME, it’s ENOUGH grace for the moment, and ENOUGH wisdom from the Spirit that I need for the moment. The heart of Jesus says, I AM ENOUGH.
I think it’s ironic that the Lord takes the ‘noise’ of family and adding an 18 year old sweetie to our home to quiet my soul this Christmas. Friends, HE DRAWS NEAR to us...and DEAR to us, at Christmas AND always...HE IS ENOUGH...all on his own:-)
The girls and I were flipping through some pictures the other day because they wanted a picture of ME.
Two things occur to me:
1) A rapid onslaught of feeling condemned for having to do this process online because I don’t have printed pictures, much less photo albums.
2) I never have a picture taken of just me unless it’s by surprise. I’m not as fun and don’t pose like my kids.
OH but this time we found ONE...with sunglasses on.
I’ve grown accustomed to laying down the “condemnation”. It doesn’t mean I don’t battle it or that having photo albums wouldn’t be nice, but it’s not working for me. It’s certainly not an area that I sense peace or the glory of the Lord in. The second piece though about the sunglasses kept playing over in my mind. I mentioned in my “interests” that I like to “think”. I just do. Often I go down and down a path and get twisted in my thoughts and they vanish. Other times I remember to invite the Lord in to them and He teaches me something. I did this with the pictures (mostly because of the condemnation ready to slam me).
This particular day I thought about how sunglasses block out light. I must have a phobia against light as I always have sunglasses in my pocket or on my head. There’s a piece of me that feels safe behind them too. I don’t think it’s intentional, but I do relax behind them. It’s also contrary to the way the Gospel works. Jesus makes it so that we can relax, because we have the SON in our eyes. I need to know this truth. I really walk around day to day in darkness needing the light, not in light that needs to be shaded. When I see this light at work in my heart and those around me, I’m drawn in. Why? Because it’s original, it’s contagious and it redeems. It takes the darkness I live in and turns it upside down. That’s nothing the world gives me. The world shows me how to run to or from the darkness (or supposedly). The Gospel draws me to WALK through my life with light and dare I say JOY?!
Jesus sees us completely blinded in the dark and groping around for our sunglasses (a.k.a. idols). He doesn’t blind us with the light, he sheds light to see the dark for what it is; a kingdom within which He moves, lives and has HIS being with us. The last thing we want when we’re in the dark is to be alone. With my SONglasses, not only do I have light, hope and perspective, but I also have all I need in Jesus. As often as I wear sunglasses, now I have an instant reminder that I’m not in the dark on my worst day/moment and I can relax and have joy as I journey.
John 12:46 I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness.
Just me...
Do you know how often I sign off my emails with "me"? It's funny now that I think about it. I mean, why bother saying anything if I'm going to sign off with "me"? Of course they know it's "me"! Well, that's where I guess I begin my blogging journey. People know "me". I asked some folks...(on facebook of course): to blog or not to blog, that is the question. Anyone that REALLY knows me said "yes". Why? Because I like to process. Really....it brings me great satisfaction and a sense of fullness that I don't get in my routine of going through my days. So, blogging is a good fit. For me that is. Guess I'll find out if it is for anyone else to join me in it.
I'm sure I'll post pix of my family and life, but ultimately I hope to see this as a place to remind myself and hopefully others to see glimpses of the hand of Jesus in their life too. If we can't see that, then truly life is lived with a dim view of what is real and what is to come. I hope you too will "process" what is going on in your heart and life. I know I need reminders of JOY in my full days. Hence the blog...JOY in the JOURNEY. It's there friends...may we have eyes to see it and hearts to grasp how good HE is!
