Monday, July 4, 2011

A first of many...

So Aliza had her first 'standing up for my brothers' interaction today at the pool. I was right there. I didn't see it coming. I've been so 'dazed' in some ways and relaxed in others. Taking it all in. So, I perked up when I heard it starting. Here's the scene. We're at the pool late afternoon and most folks have left. A girl younger than Aliza says: Who are these boys?
Aliza:they're my brothers (with excitement!).
Girl: Why are they black?
Aliza doesn't say anything.
The girl: Where's their mommy?
I begin to step over and then realize Aliza is totally holding her own.
Aliza: Does it matter? We adopted them.
Girl: Why?
Aliza: They needed a family.
Girl: oh.
I'm a little stunned and think...I'm going to address with aliza later and see how she's doing with it.
THEN, we're in the baby pool later and the same girl says:
Are these your brothers?
Aliza: I told you yes.
Girl: What are their names?
Aliza tells them.
Girl: Can I tell my mommy?
Aliza: What?
Girl: Can I tell my mommy that you adopted them?
Aliza: Sure.
Later back in the big pool, aloof mommy comes over. (she had asked her girl why she swam over to her vs getting out of the pool and walking quickly when she called her and made her repeat it correctly)
Mommy to me: Who are these boys?
Me: My sons
Mommy: my daughter told me.
(i think: then why did you ask?)
Mommy: When did you adopt them?
Me: We got home 4 days ago.
Mommy: mouth open
Me: I share some blahblah about us traveling to Africa then say: You see, when they wanted to play with your kids, they weren't afraid, they were excited.
Mommy: I had no idea.
Me: I know.
Mommy: Are all of these kids yours?
Me: ummm
Mommy: I couldn't do it. I have to have way too much control.
Me: Me too, but Jesus is teaching me.
Mommy: You like control?
Me: oh my, yes...but it's not nearly as good as trusting what God has. I'm sorry, we're done...need to go.
Mommy: Hope we'll see you around.
Me: Sure! (secretly thinking...GOD,could you be at work?) ALWAYS!!

Transitioning...

I haven’t updated anything but a quick note or so on facebook since returning on Thursday afternoon...wow! Unlike me! BUT...so is our new world ‘unlike me’;) I wouldn’t trade it for all the updating possible!

IT WAS MORE THAN AWESOME TO BE BACK WITH OUR OTHER KIDDOS!!! For now, we're spending some time learning to be a family of 7. It's up and down and all around, but here are some things I’m processing:

*Our trip home was exhausting but so blessed in spite of the ‘circumstances’. The flight was delayed, full and our tvs were out. Now, the boys don’t like TV but they would have liked pushing the screen/buttons for entertainment. To top it off, once they finally went to sleep they made us sit them up and buckle them for our refuel in Rome. C’mon folks...if we’re going down, then some sleeping toddlers won’t know the difference! By this point it’s 4am and I’m thinking...do YOU want to come sit in my seat? do YOU want to busy them for the next 12 hour leg? do YOU !@#$...yes, my heart was grumbly! BUT...the boys rallied and were happy and i got in a few zzzzs while daddy took over (20 whole solid minutes!). We managed. Remember those late night conversations I said I thought would be better than sleep...well they didn’t fail to disappoint. A lady from Zambia and I had such a fabulous time sharing, listening and pointing each other to God’s hand in each other’s lives. Where did that come from? All in the midst of toddlers and new experiences and naps. I love how sufficient God is!!!













*Our family is soooo different!!! I can’t even put into words or even really begin processing yet. Keep praying. I’m sooo grateful for Andy being home and for the ‘no agenda’ life for now. It eats at me already at times, but I’m reminded of the short-term treat it is.







*The boys are picking up FAST!! I can not believe we haven’t even been home but 4 days!!! From initial revolting of American foods to much ‘mommy look, daddy look’ at their trying of new things...we REJOICE! I expected them to be so fearful for some reason of new experiences, but they eat them up!!! The pool, friends, fireworks, church...it’s all gone pretty well. We see the differences in them (i.e. When they’re quiet) but it doesn’t seem to send them. They jabber with each other and seem to be excited. Sometimes too excited to sleep now!! I love hearing them speak in their native language back and forth for 30+ minutes at nap and bedtime. It delights my soul that God gave them each other to process when we can’t help them do that. So, I pop my head in and say ‘Jesus loves you boys!!!’ and they say “Jesus loves you boys!”. Repetition...it’s how we learn;)

*Our other kiddos are communicating the ‘impact effects’ more. It’s good to discuss. Pray for us as we work through and point each other to why, how and WHO!!

*I miss Africa. Not knowing when we’ll be back is hard. I long for a piece of that simplicity and the contentedness of the people in my days. I wouldn’t trade America for it but God is near the folks there...and we saw it!


*My heart is aching often. I can’t reach for my camera fast enough for all the ‘firsts’. In their 3 and 4 years of life, they haven’t experienced as much as they have in these few days!
Some firsts: plane ride, family with older siblings, mom and dad, our home, CARSEATS (THEY HATE 'EM), Target, pool, church, friends, the dog (they hate the dog), sippy cups, ice cream, popsicles, tv, BEDS vs cribs, whispering, CHOICES, fun toys, stroller walks, squirrels, cats, fireworks, pool, lots of different food, ENGLISH vs Amharic...and the list grows...


I just constantly see the Lord’s hand in how they’re moving through their new life. How can that be? I know a day will come (and many moments have) that puts them under the table and frustrated. But for the most part, they’re rolling and it’s good. I’m most discouraged by not having the ‘conversations’ I remember having with the other kids at their age. I know they’d like it too. We can’t even read anything...just look at picture books. I know...be patient, it’ll come. I BELIEVE THAT. Still, in the moments, you see what we take for granted every single day. I want to match that gap with something ...like the boys’ getting on board. In reality, I really don’t want the gap to be filled. I want to continue in the expectancy, hope and JOY I see in our boys’ faces.


******
There’s more...always more. It’s when I expect to be surprised and delighted by Jesus that I’m most satisfied. Motherhood of these boys does me well...it reveals my hardened heart and points me to the JOY I long for...joy that won’t stop when it’s waiting on the Lord!
Thank you Jesus that you still surprise us..delight us...and delight IN US!! Teach me to long for more of YOU!!

That’s all for now...there are soo many things I could say but GRATEFUL FOR YOUR PRAYERS AND ENCOURAGEMENT!! God’s heart is near:)

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

try #2: Tminus 5hours...

After my AWESOME Tylenol pm night, we stayed up way too late reflecting on the day/week and then it was too late to take another. SO...a 4hours' night sleep was not the protocol for pre-18hr flight travel. Do you know how much I wanted that to tank me this am? I mean I was ready to really grumble...something like: Lord YOU KNOW I NEEDED SLEEP to handle these toddlers on their first LONG plane ride. WELL...this is what has been so beyond me as the Lord has generously given me more faith on this adoption journey. I have seen so many DETAILS come together this week in our lives and those we've met. Roads take unexpected turns in my days and what do I do? I SCRAMBLE to get back onto my normal, smooth path. I've come to learn when I'm always trying to navigate away from these twists and turns, I wonder where God is. I think He is with me, but was ready to show HIMSELF on that unexpected path; the path of sleeplessness and surrender, the path of people not meeting my expectations, the path of my 'perceived plan', the path of...you name it! All it does is say: I'M IN CONTROL!!! What I hope and pray I'll continue to realize is the same GOD who orchestrated beginning to end of our boys into our family is the same God who wants to bless me in my mundane. I don't like mundane, but I do LOVE my GOD showing me more of what He's up to.

So, we'll get our sleepyheads and our boys energized bodies on that big plane tonight. We'll take off 10:15 here and pray for some sleep and somehow that they'll take an interest in a show or 2. They have shown NO interest so far. Hmmm...not so funny how much I rely on electronics for my kids to be 'settled' on a trip. There's this piece of me that is pretty sure they'll be doing laps up and down the plane aisles (you know.those kids you wonder where their parents are?). What's even better is the conversations I'll probably have with several Ethiopians in the wee hours of the night over our adoption and whys. In that case, I'll say, sleep is overrated. Give me chance to give God the glory in this and I'll wait another night to sleep...it's worth it!

***You can pray for grace from others towards us as we go;) and settled spirits for the boys. So far they don't do well without sleep, but do well with all things new;) God will make the 2 meet in some mix of good...

CAN NOT WAIT TO HUG MY KIDS NECKS BACK HOME...no more said there...tears already;)

mahtah mahtah: night night!

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