THANK YOU! You trusted me twice today (Tuesday) with a piece of your heart. I was reminded when praying, that on missions trips it DOES feel awkward sometimes to just ‘share the Gospel’ with strangers. In many ways, as much as the Lord is part of who I am, it would be easier to not ‘work’ at communicating truths via Apple apps. Thankfully, my desire for you to know what IS true about you is greater than my awkwardness.
Do you know in that moment this morning when I told you I was trying to set up a call with one of your friends that was adopted and came to America last year, Angela, and you turned sad? Her mom had told me Angela would be thrilled to connect via Skype (yet another technology blessing). You didn’t agree. So of course, I prodded. You didn’t budge. You just didn’t know if that was ground you wanted to cover. It occurred to me that you might me mad with her leaving you. (Thank you Spirit!). You agreed. I explained more and then her mom sent an old picture of the two of you to us. It was then you remembered what was GOOD about your friendship. I can’t wait for you two to Skype tonight! May she somehow assure you that you are loved.
Then we had our first moments of tears. Apparently all of our ‘sporting‘ the last 24 hours was too much. You were holding your back. I tried to blame everything but track club, but that was it. It was too much. So with a couple tylenol, a heating pad and (like any kid) a little electronics, you were ready to go! We’ll see later...
The most precious gift I think I have have had yet though was at lunch. You see, I like to TALK at meals with my kids. Of course they’d probably rather read a book. I’ve learned you don’t enjoy this communication via the Ipad so much, but would rather just say yes or no. Somehow you communicated to me something (yes it is that vague) about learning about Jesus. Then you showed me your cross necklace that I had noticed before. I told you how excited I was that you were learning about God’s great love for you. You smiled, not really sharing the enthusiasm I was showing. Then came this:
you nod.
you look down and shake your head yes
I grab the Ipad and you into my lap in the family room.
she smiles.
she snuggles..and rests...her frail, lanky body in mine.
But guess who cries? yep..ME.
You see, you can’t come close to the aches in another with a callused heart. It just won’t work. What I’ve found so encouraging is how the love of Jesus softens hearts. He says “I won’t leave you as orphans, I will come to you” (John 14:18)...and He has. He come all the way to me and to you to invite us to enJOY the work and love of the Father. Thank you sweet one that, through your being here and us participating with the Spirit, we see HIM. I pray you will too.
You love learning, growing and doing lots of things...here are some glimpses into the last couple of days. I pray the family God has for you sees your DELIGHT and JOY!!
A note if you’re praying for us...
The struggles we’re having really have nothing to do with Alyona. We seem to have a little more outward sin and ranting than usual. Frankly, I know Alyona must hear our tones and fussing. I thought to myself at the end of the day yesterday:
“Enemy: 3, Schwarz family: 0”
Yes, I actually said that. I don’t ‘feel’ like this is working most moments. I feel very attacked between being woken up at nights and laying awake for hours to hearts not willing to repent. It doesn’t ‘feel’ like God is getting any glory. This very struggle is what draws me in to pray (HARD). It’s what invites me to fellowship and ask the Lord to tell me what’s true. To ASK Him for what we can’t do or be. Only then do I KNOW, these accusations and temptations are shouts of the world and enemy lurking to defeat us. I hear, “SEE, you have enough struggles, how can you care for an orphan?” Ironically, the whispers of ‘come and rest’ is so much quieter and comforting than the shouts. It’s then I realize Jesus is WITH US! and if Jesus is with us, then who can be against us? I’m claiming the truth I don’t ‘feel’ today and counting on His love to reign down and move, in spite of what we ‘feel’. You can pray that for us too:)
Any battle the Lord calls us to is worth fighting because He is moving. We’re talking about HIS KINGDOM COMING ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN...of course there’s a battle; not just in my heart but for eternity. For orphans and for those who care for them pray the darkness WILL BE pushed back AND that we’ll see God’s glory!
1 comment:
Praying for you and your entire family. God has you and Satan is the loser. Thank you for sharing your real heart. That in itself strips satan of his power. I remember just last Christmas hearing a missionary mom talk about her kids squabbles. Her transparency really ministered to me since our family of six was living in a two bedroom college dorm. Our life was on display for the college kids and most of the time I thought we were failing in our Christian testimony. However, we only get in trouble when we try to be super-human. Ron and I decided to be real and transparent with the students. This is real Life! Six sinful humans saved by the miraculous, abundant, amazing grace of God!
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